Mad Richard Discovered To Be Dull Dick

Unbelievably, in the early days of The Verve, Richard Ashcroft used to be referred to as Mad Richard; but to me he will always be a Dick.

The first two Verve LPs attracted little but derision or non-interest from critics and public alike. They were tuneless and grating LPs with no charm or finesse and it was only a blatant act of theft that changed their fortunes when Bittersweet Symphony blasted them into public consciousness. Listening to the 6 Music interview with Steve Lamacq reminded me of just how pompous and arrogant a creature Ashcroft is. He talked about Urban Hymns as if it was the Sermon from the Mount which he had not only brought down to be shared with his followers but had also written as well. He dismissed the involvement of any other members of the band and claimed it as a solo album before inviting the band to record it with him. He must have spent five minutes talking about Bittersweet Symphony conveniently forgetting that such was the plagiarism of the song from The Rolling Stones that 100% of the royalties earned from the song had to be given to the rightful artists he stole it from in the first place. He claimed the most important part of the video for the single was the exclusive trainers he wore for it – how’s that for a sense of artistic priority. He is a preening, narcissistic jackanapes  (just how dull must Jason Spiritualized have been for Kate Radley to leave him for Ashcroft).

In the same Classic Album slot a week later,  Mick Jones and Paul Simenon displayed intelligence, humour and SELF-DEPRECATION (you probably need to look the word up, Dick) in their discussion about a true classic LP, London Calling, whilst all Ashcroft could manage was a trumpeting of his own imagined talent. Lucky Man indeed to have pulled the wool over so many people’s eyes and to have shouted long enough that his distinctly average LP,  with a couple of decent songs on it and the rest filler, should be deemed a classic.

So what punishment can he be made to suffer to atone for his sins? With most people I would choose being isolated in a room, forced to listen to a playback of that interview and his droning voice on continuous replay until they are scratching at the walls with bloodied hands, promising to mend their ways. However, Dick would almost certainly enjoy the experience of listening to his own voice over and over. So the only thing we can do is to surgically remove his tongue ensuring the rest of us never have to listen to him again. Maybe he could use the tongue as a logo on the front of his next LP. Oh wait, someone’s already done that, haven’t they?

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6 Responses to Mad Richard Discovered To Be Dull Dick

  1. Shaun Brilldream

    A couple of points-The first two LP’s are actually quite brilliant. Have you listened to them? (Im afraid I don’t rely on the opinions of critics or the public)

    The royalties of BSS went to the Stones (No strangers to plagarism themselves lest we forget) due to an uncleared sample of (what for it)a string line (not on the main riff)and *gasp* a bell. The song in question was an instrumental off an album made my Loog Oldham, not the Stones themselves.

    I’m interested why you have not touched on his risible solo albums…


    • Because life’s too short. Ashcroft is a thick, arrogant cock. If I find his best stuff sub-standard, I am not going to subject myself to his worst.


  2. Rippenhengst

    How come. … you´re so full of hate against a person you don´t even know.

    Calm down, take a deep breath and get a life


    • I hate anyone who has that winning combination of pomposity and lack of talent.
      I am perfectly calm, thank you, and have thus far had more of a life than you will ever have.


  3. C0l G

    Nick McCabe is married to a great friend of mine, so he must be a supper nice guy. Kate Radley, married to Richard is a long ago friend when she was with Jason. I just can not image her staying with a mate that did not have some pretty great qualities about them. Kate and Caron (Nicks mate) are both strong independent beautiful women with very sharp minds. Only those two ladies know the real men in their lives.


    • The logic you use to determine who is ‘a supper nice guy’ is, of course, impeccable.
      Comments as ill thought out, poorly spelled and punctuated make me want to scream the word satire in your stupid, pig-ignorant face.


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